We were invited to other award shows but didn’t go this time! They gave out stupid prizes, in lightweight categories! We’ll hold our own event, again, and they’re not invited to it!
Let me tell you I know a thing or two about award ceremonies! I’ve done billions of them! They’re the best award ceremonies you’ve ever seen! I’m not just saying that. Everyone knows that! Right?
And we won’t be handing out namby-pamby prizes to ‘winners’. Oh no!
From now on the so-called ‘winners’ will have to make their own statues. They can pull them out of the their own ears, their own… whatever. What’s more, we’ll make them pay us to let them make them for themselves!
And if they don’t like that we’ll force them to do something worse than wakeboarding! That’s a thing right?
We’ve got a new mascot for our event this year. As you can see (above) ‘The RichE’ is a very attractive bear. Yes, before you ask, all the fur is natural. It just grows like that.
It’s time to make the KM UK Awards great again!
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